Nine, Eleven
Sep. 11th, 2003 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrix4bLike many of my freins I will also post about this day.
I remember well that day. I had a couple of people staying here, Two were women who were fighting that night but lets start at the begining.
I had the day off and my new girlfreind came to wake me up, I had the day off of work and was sleeping in. I was grogy and she told me, "Did you hear that they plane'd the world trade center?!" She had that paniced look that I have long since learned to recognize, so I gathered that it was something important she was trying to get to me. The words did not make sense as they tumbled through my fog filled mind. How can you plane a building. They made it flat? Then it wouldn't be a building. They "Plained" it? No that didn't make sense. It's a building not a plain. They landed or made the building into a plane? That makes evem less sense. This tumbled through and I asked, "How can you plane a building?" She calmed down enough to explain it a bit. OH they flew a plane through the building. That doesn't make sense either. Why would someone do such a thing? We turned on the TV and watched the second plane go through the second tower. I kept waiting for a director to say cut or something. By that time one of my roomates at the time, a red head, was up and we three watched in horror and shock. Later that knight the red head and a raven haired woman got into an argument and the world was in chaos and the spirits were in a BIG unease. The whole thing got to me. I scared my girlfriend, that I am now handfasted to, with my complete lack of any emotive response. I was montone man. I was feeling the pressure of the spirits. They were almost physically audible with their keen of rage. I was holding myself off. My caring girlfreind was beside herself and wanted to do anything to help me. Her being a bit of a medium I bet she could hear them a bit. I asked very politely if we could go up to red rocks ampetheater. I grabed my pipes and we headed up very swiftly, with her driving. Her driving scared or angry is a reackless experince that I do not recomend, but I wasn't anywhere near able to be conserned about dying. The Spirits needed me to realse into physical/emotional form their feelings. So many of them. Word must have gotten out to more spirits than I thought about the where and when I would be. I fancy myself a bit of a shaman. Metaphysically sensitive at least. The air was boiling with spirits. I must have played my pipes for over one heart wrenching hour, maybe two. Screaming out the rage and the pain and the terror of it all. I think when the pipes failed to stay and play, I even sereamed a bit. I vented all the anger and energy and pain and everything I could muster. For those of you that have been at a drumming up of the sun there, with or without me, you know that it is a lot. My lovely, now wife, sat an worried and figgited, I couldn't even percive the physical world for that first hour. I ended up strained, exausted and spent and depresed and sobbing for while with her. What brought me out of that funk was the discovery of my loved one's totem. I felt a presence of some creature kindly put it's head on my lap, much in the way a cat does when it is comforting you. I then looked and "saw" Lion. My loved one, who was huddled near me was trying to comfort me too..she must have thought I'd gone off the deep end when I started laughing, giggling really. I had to explain to her that I had discovered what her totem was. She didn't know at that time and asked me to look and find out for her. Ususally your totem chooses you, sometimes it is the other way around, but rarely. Somebody else also notifies you, usually. Anyway, though that venting and everything, I healed and probibly healed some spirits. Shrug, don't know. I remeber that the whole trumped up "Patriotism" thing the next year and how you could not go to a movie without the screen lecturing you about how you should be patriotic. Also, I remeber how people were. It is rather eiry to see people is such a state, we bounced back and came back to what resembles sanity for a county. I have realized and grown into a sense of wanting a comunity. A feeling of cuminty. For that, it takes people that you get close to and become freinds with, close friends. You share things like food, good times, good jokes and conversations and the like. A comunity is not a group of people that live together. It is a group of people that share together. That love together. (no not neccisarily physical love but caring and helping) A group of people that grow together. That is what i want. It is something that I am manifesting in my life, but slowly. Freinds afar are a part of it. So are freinds near. I am thankful for it.
That is my story and my healing from september, eleventh, 2001.
Dave
I remember well that day. I had a couple of people staying here, Two were women who were fighting that night but lets start at the begining.
I had the day off and my new girlfreind came to wake me up, I had the day off of work and was sleeping in. I was grogy and she told me, "Did you hear that they plane'd the world trade center?!" She had that paniced look that I have long since learned to recognize, so I gathered that it was something important she was trying to get to me. The words did not make sense as they tumbled through my fog filled mind. How can you plane a building. They made it flat? Then it wouldn't be a building. They "Plained" it? No that didn't make sense. It's a building not a plain. They landed or made the building into a plane? That makes evem less sense. This tumbled through and I asked, "How can you plane a building?" She calmed down enough to explain it a bit. OH they flew a plane through the building. That doesn't make sense either. Why would someone do such a thing? We turned on the TV and watched the second plane go through the second tower. I kept waiting for a director to say cut or something. By that time one of my roomates at the time, a red head, was up and we three watched in horror and shock. Later that knight the red head and a raven haired woman got into an argument and the world was in chaos and the spirits were in a BIG unease. The whole thing got to me. I scared my girlfriend, that I am now handfasted to, with my complete lack of any emotive response. I was montone man. I was feeling the pressure of the spirits. They were almost physically audible with their keen of rage. I was holding myself off. My caring girlfreind was beside herself and wanted to do anything to help me. Her being a bit of a medium I bet she could hear them a bit. I asked very politely if we could go up to red rocks ampetheater. I grabed my pipes and we headed up very swiftly, with her driving. Her driving scared or angry is a reackless experince that I do not recomend, but I wasn't anywhere near able to be conserned about dying. The Spirits needed me to realse into physical/emotional form their feelings. So many of them. Word must have gotten out to more spirits than I thought about the where and when I would be. I fancy myself a bit of a shaman. Metaphysically sensitive at least. The air was boiling with spirits. I must have played my pipes for over one heart wrenching hour, maybe two. Screaming out the rage and the pain and the terror of it all. I think when the pipes failed to stay and play, I even sereamed a bit. I vented all the anger and energy and pain and everything I could muster. For those of you that have been at a drumming up of the sun there, with or without me, you know that it is a lot. My lovely, now wife, sat an worried and figgited, I couldn't even percive the physical world for that first hour. I ended up strained, exausted and spent and depresed and sobbing for while with her. What brought me out of that funk was the discovery of my loved one's totem. I felt a presence of some creature kindly put it's head on my lap, much in the way a cat does when it is comforting you. I then looked and "saw" Lion. My loved one, who was huddled near me was trying to comfort me too..she must have thought I'd gone off the deep end when I started laughing, giggling really. I had to explain to her that I had discovered what her totem was. She didn't know at that time and asked me to look and find out for her. Ususally your totem chooses you, sometimes it is the other way around, but rarely. Somebody else also notifies you, usually. Anyway, though that venting and everything, I healed and probibly healed some spirits. Shrug, don't know. I remeber that the whole trumped up "Patriotism" thing the next year and how you could not go to a movie without the screen lecturing you about how you should be patriotic. Also, I remeber how people were. It is rather eiry to see people is such a state, we bounced back and came back to what resembles sanity for a county. I have realized and grown into a sense of wanting a comunity. A feeling of cuminty. For that, it takes people that you get close to and become freinds with, close friends. You share things like food, good times, good jokes and conversations and the like. A comunity is not a group of people that live together. It is a group of people that share together. That love together. (no not neccisarily physical love but caring and helping) A group of people that grow together. That is what i want. It is something that I am manifesting in my life, but slowly. Freinds afar are a part of it. So are freinds near. I am thankful for it.
That is my story and my healing from september, eleventh, 2001.
Dave