Yes I am alive, Here's the update
Aug. 9th, 2003 02:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrix4bSorry all, I haven't had time to update lately.
Lets see..One week ago was my handfasting...but the story starts before that...
The week before the handfasting was a bit hecktic for more than me.
There was a whole lot of misscommunications and some correct communications. Those that were there, sorry if I mix up the day or order. It has been 2 weeks from the start of the story. Best to go by day.
Monday: My now wife, Satndau , needed to get her dress done and the quarter sases done. That was a bit of a worry for a while. I still needed to get the rings polished. Here I was awash with worries that it wouldn't go well for my love. Also awash of worries on how much money I was spending that I didn't have for this whole thing. We workied on getting the invitations done at that time too...The printer ran out of ink (solved by refilible cartridge from my roomate and the quarter of air Aaron) and that caused a panic and worry. The printer only let us print one at a time and it had a tendency to jam..BTW if you did not get an invitation, I am sorry we ran out of the materials. Many appologies. We lacked most of the addressed too. Even last names. But it got done and mailed out on Tuesday, I think. Oh, Did I mention that my best man ditched out on me a week before the event? Yeah that was a bitch. I was kinda counting on him as he is my oldest male freind. My second choice was the quarter of air, third choice wanted to spend time with family and couldn't come. Maybe that isn't right. Way back when we started planning, my first choice of male freinds was out of state and on vacation in europe, but I didn't expect ever for him to be able to make it. Seems only fair, I had to work when he had his handfasting. Sorry Caern. I understand that that is the way of life. But anyway, I was expecting Caern and Bellweather not to be able to make it. Too costly and busy getting moved and all. Sent out the invite anyway. Just as I was not truely expecting those two wonderful people to show up, I was not expecting my longest time friend mistcat to make it..Poverty and a few states away made that immpossible, not to mention needing to work. Anywy, We got out what invites that we could..Mailed on Tuesday by my love. Which brings us to Tuesday before:
Tuesday: Found out that my quarter of fire couldn't make it due to getting some of his past cleared up. I understand that having things hannging over your head such as outstanding warrents can make a guy jumpy. It was also not expected for the magistrate to through the book at him and by result make in unavailable for the ritual. The timing of his turning himself in sux rox. My feeling is that it could have been delayed til after the ritual but hey the pressure of things can get to you. That time was rocky for most of the participants. Even so, I still feel that he owes me an apology. My love thinks I should take the initive and confront him and bitch him out. I don't think so as it is not my right to yell at him for it..I have a right to be angry due to the dissapointment on my part and the hurt it caused my love. He needs to contact me or talk to me. Maybe he doesn't know that I am angy over it. As I said, I understand why and can see why he did it. Timming SUX. He was also the first one I asked to be in the ritual..Apolgy is needed, that's it. Ok, I beat that one to death, sorry all. Back on track..We found out that, Other major participants weren't getting along well. Tuesday nothing seemed to go right. Let's move on to Wednessday.
Wednessday before: Things were starting to fall together, the sashes got done..My love's dress got done. A freind that I haven't talked to in 2 months was contacted and said he would do fire. Droping 2 appointments for paid massages to acomidate us. Much thanks to you Anthony F. The rings got done on that day and I concecrated the tools for it. It was very powerful little ritual and much infussion of good magicks in the rings. Things seemed a bit on track. Even though the HP and HPS were still not working together well.. more on that later..others have probably heard but I'll just give my percerptions...sorry if it offends. So Wednessday ended well as could be..
Thursday before: Things got really rocky between our HPS and HP and others..Our HPS need our support, glad to be that support, as it was her husband that was the quarter of fire..Wished I could have been more help. We decided to see a movie and make the bread for the ritual for the wines and cakes..First it was relaxation with a movie, my love took me out to see a movie I was not aloud to know what it was till I got there..Turned out Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life..Great movie, move a guy/bi female flick. Fan service of Laura Croft in a swimsuit. Anyway, Home to make bread around midnight. Had to be up by 10 am for work. We had a great time with the bread, working together to put a bit of us cooperating and loving into it. It worked too. A bit meassy as we used too much fruit but it was good and as our gate gaurdian said, "Sticks to the ribs" we all probibly havent had much to eat before the ritual and it was good at the time to have a stick to the ribs food to hold off till after the ceromony. Then Friday, Mostly a blowup.
Friday (The day before): The rehersal did not go too badly, just a bunch of giggles from the HP and it was a bit disruptive. Bit of a rocky time as things did not mesh..people knowing others too well and not well enough at the same time..Ask our HPS and HP if you want details. Not mine to give and I am sure they don't want me to show the dirty laundry so to speak. But needless to say it was a bit rocky. I spent the night at our HPS's house due to the fact that my love did not want me to, something about the groom isn't suposed to sleep in the same house as the bride the night before. I wasn't aloud to see her till the handfasting. Argle Fargle. But I did it.. Had a long conversation til 7:30 am with the HP. Seemed to get to know him a bit..Understand him and exchange stories of our pasts. Also pointed out to him my perception of what was going on. I guess somewhere in there he "Had the Talk". Some sort of talk to make sure I wanted to be handfasted and to know what I was doing. I passed the test. Anyway very little sleep gotten. Didn't get to sleep til about 8am in the morning of.
Saturday: Woke up breifly to hear the HP and HPS talking, still grogy so no words were gotten across. Fell back asleep with a good feeling as they were talking..Woke up at about 10:30 am as the HP and HPS were leaving me alone in the apt. Slept till 12..
this is interupted by my needing to pick up my love from an interview..to be continued
Now continuing.
Morning of Woke up at noon finally. Empty apartment, knowing I have to shave and do a ritual bath. So I prep a ritual bath and get the tub an everything ready..close the door and enjoy pure darkness and silence, as quiet as possible. I shave and wash in the darkness and silence. After that just sitting in hot water and meditate. I have been known to have visions or other magical things happen at that moment. In the quiet darkness. I reflect on what Manea and a few others have said about my relationship with my beloved. I then delve the depths of the meanings behind it all. That is when I have a feeling of the future, yes it is very scary. Wonder if MooaDeeb from dune ever had this feeling. I first latch onto the future that manea mentioned and trace it's origins and isolate the cause. I then do a tentative search of my heart and mind of the future and "See" it. I know that I am on the right path. This to some is creative imagination called visualization. To me I am actually there, not with any sort of preceptions I can describe. It is pure emotion. I then know why it all happened. Yes I mostly loose when I come out of my trance. Somethings we can't keep and keep sane. It is sort of like skimming the library of congress and coming away with what you want to do and not knowing the how but knowing what you must do or how you can be. What did I come away with? Well without going into the vision too much and summing it up...LOVE. And the path to love. You see, by focusing on my love for her and not letting trifles get in the way that is how you keep loving. It is true that love knows no bounds. Love is infinite and CANNOT be quantified. Time can but not love. I also know that she loves me and that there is no limit to how many people she can love or how many people I can love too. We will always love eachother. Not the timing can be the key. Never get jelous of your loved one loving another but you can get jelous of the time spent. As her primary I have the right to request the majority of her time and get it. I don't have the right to say that she can't express love to another. That is what I came away with. That an a few other things. Like monogamy in the form that is meant is kinda a selfish thing to do to another, espessially if you know you love that person. This does not mean you go looking for others to love. You also can't require that your loved one changes. Encourage good change yes but not have it be a condition of your love. Real love has no such conditions.
Ahem..Ok, so I wax poetic and philisophical occassionally. Anyway, I am done by 1 pm and peoples come back. To discuss their diffrences and clear the air a bit. That and while I am listning the air get cleared out through disscussion, I figger out how to make the candles so that they will be wind resistant and wont burn the others. I cook lunch and eat it while making them. I put in the paper work on the apt that me and my wife will have together just the two of us. Also droping off a rent check for another. Then, we go..list of things to bring, pack the car and off to eldorado canon..stop off at home to pick up the scripts (freashly modified, Nervious bride to be modifies them again!) Get to El Dorado canyon late and help in the setup, my loves on her way to get ready. The children we have there get very board waiting and I give them a treasure hunt, sent them off to find a rock for the incence. This makes them happy.
The Handfasting: Thie ritual goes very smoothly, the kids are very well behaved. All of the animals in the ritual show up in force. The place is positively reeking with magic and energy. When Bear showed up I was very suprised to see such a powerful manifestation of him. It felt like the whole mountain was him. Hawk swoops in on his time to take perch on the highest point of the building. Lioness nealy bowls people over, I nearly roared a greating. Even the Lord and the Lady were powerful manifestations..I asked the HPS afterward how much she remembered, not much but enough. Seems the Goddess took her over and almost litterly possesed her. anyway, It went very smootly and very well. We had a wonderful ritual. It is done. A bit of food at the after party and then nic off to a hotel, We were so exausted and slept...mostly. In a wonderful King sized bed, need to get one. It was a very peaceful rest and we enjoyed breakfast and swim+hottub the next day. Then Back to mundainia. Sigh.
So that is the major update. Need to go to a party now, I'll update the first week of being maried tommarow. Not much to tell.
Have more to say but gotta go.
Dave
PS: a special thanks goes out to those that participated and the like. those that wearnt there...PPPPPPHHHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!! You missed out. I will try to post at least a link to the pictures as I only have a free account here and it wont let me do more than one pic at a time.
Lets see..One week ago was my handfasting...but the story starts before that...
The week before the handfasting was a bit hecktic for more than me.
There was a whole lot of misscommunications and some correct communications. Those that were there, sorry if I mix up the day or order. It has been 2 weeks from the start of the story. Best to go by day.
Monday: My now wife, Satndau , needed to get her dress done and the quarter sases done. That was a bit of a worry for a while. I still needed to get the rings polished. Here I was awash with worries that it wouldn't go well for my love. Also awash of worries on how much money I was spending that I didn't have for this whole thing. We workied on getting the invitations done at that time too...The printer ran out of ink (solved by refilible cartridge from my roomate and the quarter of air Aaron) and that caused a panic and worry. The printer only let us print one at a time and it had a tendency to jam..BTW if you did not get an invitation, I am sorry we ran out of the materials. Many appologies. We lacked most of the addressed too. Even last names. But it got done and mailed out on Tuesday, I think. Oh, Did I mention that my best man ditched out on me a week before the event? Yeah that was a bitch. I was kinda counting on him as he is my oldest male freind. My second choice was the quarter of air, third choice wanted to spend time with family and couldn't come. Maybe that isn't right. Way back when we started planning, my first choice of male freinds was out of state and on vacation in europe, but I didn't expect ever for him to be able to make it. Seems only fair, I had to work when he had his handfasting. Sorry Caern. I understand that that is the way of life. But anyway, I was expecting Caern and Bellweather not to be able to make it. Too costly and busy getting moved and all. Sent out the invite anyway. Just as I was not truely expecting those two wonderful people to show up, I was not expecting my longest time friend mistcat to make it..Poverty and a few states away made that immpossible, not to mention needing to work. Anywy, We got out what invites that we could..Mailed on Tuesday by my love. Which brings us to Tuesday before:
Tuesday: Found out that my quarter of fire couldn't make it due to getting some of his past cleared up. I understand that having things hannging over your head such as outstanding warrents can make a guy jumpy. It was also not expected for the magistrate to through the book at him and by result make in unavailable for the ritual. The timing of his turning himself in sux rox. My feeling is that it could have been delayed til after the ritual but hey the pressure of things can get to you. That time was rocky for most of the participants. Even so, I still feel that he owes me an apology. My love thinks I should take the initive and confront him and bitch him out. I don't think so as it is not my right to yell at him for it..I have a right to be angry due to the dissapointment on my part and the hurt it caused my love. He needs to contact me or talk to me. Maybe he doesn't know that I am angy over it. As I said, I understand why and can see why he did it. Timming SUX. He was also the first one I asked to be in the ritual..Apolgy is needed, that's it. Ok, I beat that one to death, sorry all. Back on track..We found out that, Other major participants weren't getting along well. Tuesday nothing seemed to go right. Let's move on to Wednessday.
Wednessday before: Things were starting to fall together, the sashes got done..My love's dress got done. A freind that I haven't talked to in 2 months was contacted and said he would do fire. Droping 2 appointments for paid massages to acomidate us. Much thanks to you Anthony F. The rings got done on that day and I concecrated the tools for it. It was very powerful little ritual and much infussion of good magicks in the rings. Things seemed a bit on track. Even though the HP and HPS were still not working together well.. more on that later..others have probably heard but I'll just give my percerptions...sorry if it offends. So Wednessday ended well as could be..
Thursday before: Things got really rocky between our HPS and HP and others..Our HPS need our support, glad to be that support, as it was her husband that was the quarter of fire..Wished I could have been more help. We decided to see a movie and make the bread for the ritual for the wines and cakes..First it was relaxation with a movie, my love took me out to see a movie I was not aloud to know what it was till I got there..Turned out Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life..Great movie, move a guy/bi female flick. Fan service of Laura Croft in a swimsuit. Anyway, Home to make bread around midnight. Had to be up by 10 am for work. We had a great time with the bread, working together to put a bit of us cooperating and loving into it. It worked too. A bit meassy as we used too much fruit but it was good and as our gate gaurdian said, "Sticks to the ribs" we all probibly havent had much to eat before the ritual and it was good at the time to have a stick to the ribs food to hold off till after the ceromony. Then Friday, Mostly a blowup.
Friday (The day before): The rehersal did not go too badly, just a bunch of giggles from the HP and it was a bit disruptive. Bit of a rocky time as things did not mesh..people knowing others too well and not well enough at the same time..Ask our HPS and HP if you want details. Not mine to give and I am sure they don't want me to show the dirty laundry so to speak. But needless to say it was a bit rocky. I spent the night at our HPS's house due to the fact that my love did not want me to, something about the groom isn't suposed to sleep in the same house as the bride the night before. I wasn't aloud to see her till the handfasting. Argle Fargle. But I did it.. Had a long conversation til 7:30 am with the HP. Seemed to get to know him a bit..Understand him and exchange stories of our pasts. Also pointed out to him my perception of what was going on. I guess somewhere in there he "Had the Talk". Some sort of talk to make sure I wanted to be handfasted and to know what I was doing. I passed the test. Anyway very little sleep gotten. Didn't get to sleep til about 8am in the morning of.
Saturday: Woke up breifly to hear the HP and HPS talking, still grogy so no words were gotten across. Fell back asleep with a good feeling as they were talking..Woke up at about 10:30 am as the HP and HPS were leaving me alone in the apt. Slept till 12..
this is interupted by my needing to pick up my love from an interview..to be continued
Now continuing.
Morning of Woke up at noon finally. Empty apartment, knowing I have to shave and do a ritual bath. So I prep a ritual bath and get the tub an everything ready..close the door and enjoy pure darkness and silence, as quiet as possible. I shave and wash in the darkness and silence. After that just sitting in hot water and meditate. I have been known to have visions or other magical things happen at that moment. In the quiet darkness. I reflect on what Manea and a few others have said about my relationship with my beloved. I then delve the depths of the meanings behind it all. That is when I have a feeling of the future, yes it is very scary. Wonder if MooaDeeb from dune ever had this feeling. I first latch onto the future that manea mentioned and trace it's origins and isolate the cause. I then do a tentative search of my heart and mind of the future and "See" it. I know that I am on the right path. This to some is creative imagination called visualization. To me I am actually there, not with any sort of preceptions I can describe. It is pure emotion. I then know why it all happened. Yes I mostly loose when I come out of my trance. Somethings we can't keep and keep sane. It is sort of like skimming the library of congress and coming away with what you want to do and not knowing the how but knowing what you must do or how you can be. What did I come away with? Well without going into the vision too much and summing it up...LOVE. And the path to love. You see, by focusing on my love for her and not letting trifles get in the way that is how you keep loving. It is true that love knows no bounds. Love is infinite and CANNOT be quantified. Time can but not love. I also know that she loves me and that there is no limit to how many people she can love or how many people I can love too. We will always love eachother. Not the timing can be the key. Never get jelous of your loved one loving another but you can get jelous of the time spent. As her primary I have the right to request the majority of her time and get it. I don't have the right to say that she can't express love to another. That is what I came away with. That an a few other things. Like monogamy in the form that is meant is kinda a selfish thing to do to another, espessially if you know you love that person. This does not mean you go looking for others to love. You also can't require that your loved one changes. Encourage good change yes but not have it be a condition of your love. Real love has no such conditions.
Ahem..Ok, so I wax poetic and philisophical occassionally. Anyway, I am done by 1 pm and peoples come back. To discuss their diffrences and clear the air a bit. That and while I am listning the air get cleared out through disscussion, I figger out how to make the candles so that they will be wind resistant and wont burn the others. I cook lunch and eat it while making them. I put in the paper work on the apt that me and my wife will have together just the two of us. Also droping off a rent check for another. Then, we go..list of things to bring, pack the car and off to eldorado canon..stop off at home to pick up the scripts (freashly modified, Nervious bride to be modifies them again!) Get to El Dorado canyon late and help in the setup, my loves on her way to get ready. The children we have there get very board waiting and I give them a treasure hunt, sent them off to find a rock for the incence. This makes them happy.
The Handfasting: Thie ritual goes very smoothly, the kids are very well behaved. All of the animals in the ritual show up in force. The place is positively reeking with magic and energy. When Bear showed up I was very suprised to see such a powerful manifestation of him. It felt like the whole mountain was him. Hawk swoops in on his time to take perch on the highest point of the building. Lioness nealy bowls people over, I nearly roared a greating. Even the Lord and the Lady were powerful manifestations..I asked the HPS afterward how much she remembered, not much but enough. Seems the Goddess took her over and almost litterly possesed her. anyway, It went very smootly and very well. We had a wonderful ritual. It is done. A bit of food at the after party and then nic off to a hotel, We were so exausted and slept...mostly. In a wonderful King sized bed, need to get one. It was a very peaceful rest and we enjoyed breakfast and swim+hottub the next day. Then Back to mundainia. Sigh.
So that is the major update. Need to go to a party now, I'll update the first week of being maried tommarow. Not much to tell.
Have more to say but gotta go.
Dave
PS: a special thanks goes out to those that participated and the like. those that wearnt there...PPPPPPHHHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!! You missed out. I will try to post at least a link to the pictures as I only have a free account here and it wont let me do more than one pic at a time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
LLLLLLLLLLLLoooonnnngggg
Date: 2003-08-10 09:51 am (UTC)Re: LLLLLLLLLLLLoooonnnngggg
Date: 2003-08-11 06:08 am (UTC)Scroll
Date: 2003-08-11 12:19 am (UTC)And if I don't want to read it until later there's always the scroll bar.
Congratulations and Best Wishes, etc.
Date: 2003-08-11 01:13 am (UTC)Harumph. Had more to say, but it sucks to put so much into a LJ reply. Will write soon.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-11 05:13 am (UTC)Dave