On a completely unralted note.

Swiped from redtheda's Journal on OkCupid.com

 

Someone commented on my last entry that he wasn't familiar with
polyamory, which made me realize, of course, that plenty of my
"audience" may not be. So, gentle readers, as I do not wish to
leave you in the dark, I will attempt to give my own summary of
what polyamory is. I will, as best I can, eschew any philosophical
discussions on this point, and attempt to give you the broadest
possible definition.



Polyamory is a broad, blanket term which refers to the practice of
maintaining loving relationships with more than one other person,
with the awareness and consent of all participants. Much as one can
be bisexual and not be actively dating members of both genders, one
can be polyamorous without being engaged in multiple relationships.
It is a lifestyle choice as well as a description of one's current
relationships.



The question that was asked specifically references the concept of
polygamy and polygyny practiced by a variety of cultures throughout
history, and how polyamory compares to that. What is broadly
thought of as polyamory today bears limited resemblances to those
practices, but by my own definition, polygyny and polygamy fall
under the greater descriptive umbrella of polyamory. The vast
majority of people who identify as polyamorous do not practice
anything similar to the kinds of tribal multiple marriages found in
some cultures, or the more modern practice of Mormon polygamy. In
short, polygamy is to polyamory as mocha chip ice cream is to ice
cream in general.



There's a lot of debate about what qualifies as polyamory, and some
people use the even broader term non-monogamy, or consensual, or
ethical non-monogamy to describe their lifestyle. It's generally
accepted that polyamory refers to relationships that have some
romantic element, as opposed to those that are strictly sexual.
Attending sex parties might be described as ethical non-monogamy,
but would generally not be called polyamory.



There are a variety of subdivisions within polyamory, each given
their own name. Some people have groups of three, four or even more
people, all of whom are directly romantically involved with each
other, others have a primary committed relationship while dating in
a more limited scope outside of that relationship, others maintain
multiple discrete committed relationships, as well as a wide
variety of other dynamics.



As many people will be swift to tell you, polyamory need not
necessarily be sexual. For my money, a romantic relationship always
has some sexual component, even if that component is simply the
desire to have sex with someone. Loving relationships that involve
no desire to have sex are, well, friendships, last I checked.
Still, a virgin, or celibate person could reasonably participate in
what I'd define as polyamory, you don't need to be sexually active
to be in love someone, or, in this case, someones.



That about sums up my very simple overview of polyamory. Given the
nature of the topic, and the nature of polyamorists (who have a
tendency towards pedantry), I have no doubt that someone will
utterly disagree with something I've said here. Like so many
things, the boundaries of polyamory are murky at best, and all I
can bring to it is my own perceptions and experience. I should in
no sense be considered an expert on the subject of any relationship
other than my own.