Two people can use the same word and have very different meanings for it. I'm extremely picky about who I'll consider a friend. My daughter thinks anybody a friend if she's met them and exchanged friendly words - even if they disagree on things.
A friend is someone I know very well, and with whom I feel free to be absolutely myself without having to worry that what I say or do will be taken the wrong way. A friend is someone that I know will help if I need it and they possibly can. (I don't include me helping them in my definition - not because I wouldn't but because I'd help a total stranger if they needed it and I could.) I've got about 4 of those myself, and I consider myself very lucky.
Now a friendly acquaintance is someone I enjoy hanging out with. It should go without saying that I respect them and find them interesting. I have perhaps a dozen of those, at least a couple of whom have serious "friend" potential - but I don't feel I know them well enough.
Incidentally, I don't know that I'd even call you an acquaintance; we haven't exactly met, and I don't assume I can "know" someone just from the internet. But from the little I know, I'd hazard the conjecture that you have serious friend potential.
While I have too much of a tendency to let things lie rather than risk stirring up trouble, I do like to resolve things in an objective way. I believe that most problems are the result of miscommunication and can be resolved in an environment of rationality and respect. I do hate it when I can't do anything about a problem, especially when someone I love is hurting and I'm basically told to stay out of it.
To get through it, I make an effort to be mindful that what's going on with them is about them and not me, and that I have faith that their higher self is guiding and protecting them with more wisdom than I could possibly have - that we are each on the perfect path from who we are to who we are becoming. Even them telling me off is part of that path. I have to celebrate that for them, even if it's not my way, if I wouldn't choose that way, even if I don't understand it at all. (Which is not to say I believe those things; just that it helps me get through the tough parts to behave as if I believe those things. For all I know, they could be doing something evil and destructive, or there might be no point and no pattern to anything. I just like myself better playing it the other way.)
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branchandroot
divided by a common language
Date: 2005-02-20 11:32 pm (UTC)A friend is someone I know very well, and with whom I feel free to be absolutely myself without having to worry that what I say or do will be taken the wrong way. A friend is someone that I know will help if I need it and they possibly can. (I don't include me helping them in my definition - not because I wouldn't but because I'd help a total stranger if they needed it and I could.) I've got about 4 of those myself, and I consider myself very lucky.
Now a friendly acquaintance is someone I enjoy hanging out with. It should go without saying that I respect them and find them interesting. I have perhaps a dozen of those, at least a couple of whom have serious "friend" potential - but I don't feel I know them well enough.
Incidentally, I don't know that I'd even call you an acquaintance; we haven't exactly met, and I don't assume I can "know" someone just from the internet. But from the little I know, I'd hazard the conjecture that you have serious friend potential.
While I have too much of a tendency to let things lie rather than risk stirring up trouble, I do like to resolve things in an objective way. I believe that most problems are the result of miscommunication and can be resolved in an environment of rationality and respect. I do hate it when I can't do anything about a problem, especially when someone I love is hurting and I'm basically told to stay out of it.
To get through it, I make an effort to be mindful that what's going on with them is about them and not me, and that I have faith that their higher self is guiding and protecting them with more wisdom than I could possibly have - that we are each on the perfect path from who we are to who we are becoming. Even them telling me off is part of that path. I have to celebrate that for them, even if it's not my way, if I wouldn't choose that way, even if I don't understand it at all. (Which is not to say I believe those things; just that it helps me get through the tough parts to behave as if I believe those things. For all I know, they could be doing something evil and destructive, or there might be no point and no pattern to anything. I just like myself better playing it the other way.)