(no subject)

To steal a quote from a friends LJ:

"The wisest words I've ever heard on this subject were from Tom Robbin's "Another Roadside Attraction":
 

Marx, marriage doesn't mean monogamy any more than monogamy means ideal love. To live lightly on this earth lovers and families must be more flexible and relaxed. The ritual of sex releases it's magic inside or outside of the marital bond. I approach that ritual with as much humility as possible and preform it whenever it seems appropriate."

"

Now for me, I have an open marriage.  I currently don't have anyone else but my wife and vice versa but we still consider that we have an open relationship.

Here is my belief on love.  The only limiting factor of love, or the primary one is Time.  I can't limit my wife to just loving me because I love her.  I love and trust her enough that I know that she isn't going to leave me for someone else.  She loves me and will come back to me.  She know that I would never hurt her and this includes not limiting her love of others.  It is not a question of jelosy.  I only get that from not being able to spend enough time with her.  She would also drop anybody in favor of me if I ask.  I would never ask her to give up love.  I would ask her to spend time to express her love with me if I felt left out but that is a rare thing.  My wife is a wonderful person.  She trys to apply empathy to the situation and undestand if I am hurt by her actions.  She doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to hurt her.  Does this mean that we go jump in other peoples beds at first chance?  No.  We both are not currently in a relationship with people outside of our marriage at all for over 2 years.  Does that mean we are hunting?  No.  Does that mean that we want it?  No.  We simply love eachother.

There is no limitation to the amount of love one can have.  The only limitations are oppertunity and the time it takes to express that love.   Trusting who you love is a big key too.  I trust my wife and she trusts me.  Otherwise we wouldn't be married.  In Polyamous relationships Trust is a key factor that many people forget and people usually make the mistake that trust and love are diffrent things that should come in the same package but don't always and must be judged seperately.  They relate too closely to each other it is almost instinct to believe that trust comes with love automatically.  It shoud but doesn't.  But we are infinite beings with infinite potential each and every one of us.  We limit ourselves and sometimes need to.   To protect ourselves.  Just the way we are wired.

I am not anti-monogamous.  For some it is the way to go.  I just believe that to reach a deeper love, one does not think of only ones self.  People are not property to be owned.  You cannot own somebody and to me limiting the one I love dearly like that is like claiming ownership.  Can't let myself feel that I have ownership rights, she is free to love, even if that love is not for me or for me alone.

That is all, babballing now.

Dave