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A few thoughts on ethics (LONG)
Aug. 24th, 2003 11:51 amI have a few thoughts on ethics. Personal ones. Just my idea of what is right and wrong. Pardon the babble today. I describe myself as a simple person...I suppose I am a complexly simple person. If that is understandable.
Well first off, I got most of my ethics out of heinlien books. Or rather that is where I started truely thinking about it. Everyone has their own code of conduct or comandments or what ever we wish to call them. These are the guidelines that we make up for ourselves to go by. In a favorite book, To sail Beyond the sunset, by Heinlien, There is a bit where the main character's father (forget the names)encourages his daughter to examine and analyze the 10 comandments of the bible. In doing this he also encourages her to modify or make up her own code of ethics. In some ways I have done so. Mind these are guidelines that I follow the spirit of and not blindly follow the totaliarianism of. That said I will share some of my ethics.
(Not in any sort of order)(Warning: These are all my Opinions and beleifs)
1. Do not let a freind or loved one starve. Especially when you have the means to correct it.
This sort of was instilled by my mother. She always made sure I had food avalible. Of course she has gone a bit overboard withit to my freinds and the like. I am a large person. Fat, yes. But I have been told I carry it well. My largeness, as most of my close freinds know, is due to my greif of loosing my dad when I was about 8 yrs old. I didn't go out, I just ate and watched tv that winter. The pot belly has been with me ever since. I may loose it one day but it grows on ya. Anyway, I share the same compulsion to feed my freinds and family and those I really care about. Most of my freinds can recall at least once I paid for their dinner, sometimes when they were short on cash or whatever. I feel fortunate that I never had to starve for more than the time it took to get off work and get food cooked, maid, or bought.
2. "Do what thou will, and harm it none."
Many pagans and others recognize this. The wiccan rede. Since discovering the phrase I have always liked it. I do my best to follow the spirit of it, as the following it completely IS impossible. What goes on with this is a sort of personal responsibility for one's actions. Everyone should have that, right? Not everyone feels this way. Heck even I slide a bit. Also what should go along with this is the willingness to apologize or correct the situation once your harm of another is discovered. At bear minimum of when it deals with those you care about. If you found you hurt your mailman by putting mail out, that's kinda not involved here. What I am talking about when you accedently hurt a loved one with words or actions. You should apologize and correct the situation if you can. Nuff said.
3. What you do in life comes back to you 3 fold.
Ok, not really a guideline to go by but it does tie into one. This is simple faith that what others do will come back to them, too. No action is required for this, it happens. So, I guess it is more like: "Do not meddle with other peoples karma". If a freind is getting wacked hard by their own doing, YES you can be supportive but you cannot step in and take the karma or lesson for them. So this guideline is a bit more ambigious. As much as you feel for someone you cannot save someone from themselves. You can offer your observations as to why and suggest how to grow from it and the like but even this can backfire on you, You must put it in a manner and timming when you will be listend to..."I told ya so"s never go well. They just aleinate you from your loved one.
4. Live is about People not things. Your things do not define you, your actions do.
This is a simple statement. But lets take a look at it..People is why we are all here. You are seen in life as what you do..not what you have. You might be poor, rich, or in between. Does this change you, well yes everything in life changes you but does it define you. NO. I may be struggling with my finances but this does not make me a better person than Bill Gates or better than that homeless person you pass on the street. By the same tolken you are not better or worse than celebities. Actors and politician and the like are just people. What you do in life is what people can see, so do what you want and put the image you want people to see out.
5. Physical Violence is never a solution.
Ok, that needs explaning. Physical violence can be, as a last resort, employed as a way to stop a confrontation. Sometimes it is the only way. But keep in mind those other guidelines. You first try to solve the issue in a rational manor. This is ofcourse if self defense is not imediately needed. If someone is attacking you, you defend and prevent harm to yourself. I have been called a maryter (spelled wrong) but I do not try to put myself in harms way when a situation can be resolved calmly. We have emotions, sometimes very strong ones, We can contain them. Everyone can. I also grew up afraid of my size and raw power that I could have when angry. Yes, we are all stronger then. What shocked me most was when I was about 10 to 12? 4th grade. I got really angry and threw a desk/chair combo at a kid about 40 feet away and nearly hit him. My aim was off. It broke the furniture. Now a kid at that age can't lift much normally. It was aroud 30-50 pounds of akward mass. I consider that unusual. Since then I have been working to control my temper and emotions. I still have them but I do not let them resort to violence.
6. Do not attack your freinds.
By this I mean you do not use your knowledge of their psyche to place blows at their character or person. Sometimes you try to help but it can be very rude and harming to them. Your intention may be to help them but sometimes it comes off as harsh critisizing. They are your freinds/loved ones. You do not need to point at a foot and say "Hey, that's a foot." Ok, so I am being cryptic. Sorry. I try to help my loved ones and freinds. When that help is in a crytisizing manor it can do more dammage than you think. Espessily when they are already hurting. So I feel that isn't right to do.
7. "Don't shit where you eat (or live)"
I heard this statement once and took it apart. Basicly, You do not create confrountation where your refuge is. Hmmm, that doesn't sound right. You do take time to clear the air with your freinds and loved ones. I don't think that you should cause problems or create friction where you live. If something bothers you, yes you should speak up. Not, grumble and cause messes for others to clean up just because they do it. Ok, I am failing to explain. Moving on.
8. It is never acceptable to do a wrong action (in your mind) just because others are doing it. Stick to your own ethics.
If someone makes a mess and you feel that it is wrong, that does not give you license to do it to. Now you may disagree with their actions. That is the very reason you should not do those actions. Yes this can make more work for you but you have the knowledge that you are doing what you feel is right. That is enough.
9. Have Faith is something. Do not Peddle your Beleifs.
I don't care much for religion. I prefer spirituality. I call my beilif system a combination of 2 religions. Basicly, Belive in something. A true athiest is a sad thing. But I don't think such an animal exists. Everybody belives in something. Some it's Money, Some it's science, Some it's Magic, Some it's the proverbial "GOD" in what ever form is their choice. Also, you do not have the right to push you view or your religion on others and insist that they must belive the way you do. This is the highest form of rudeness/obnoxiousness. Now you can enlighten others as to your beleifs when they ask. Then they want to know, you are give the right to explain a bit to. But NEVER insist that they must beilve as you do. In truth, I think that when you boil down out the fine details, all religions are inherently the same. It is suprising that some base belifes are shared by seemingly contridictory religions. Some of my freinds study diffrent religions and probably have come up to the same conclusion. By the same tolken, I belive that one should know why they belive what they do. Just because you were spoon fed it when you couldn't think for your self much and weren't exposed to much life yet is no excuse not to think about it now that you can. To blindly beive is almost as bad as not beliving in anything. Form your own opinions. Thinking is human-kind's gift. Be a shame not to use it.
10: Strive for Perfection and accept Excelence.
Perfection doesn't exist. It truely doesn't. Excelence does. If you do your best you can produce it. To some excelence is called perfection. Basicly you do your best and you get your best. It doesn't matter that it isn't "Perfect".
11: Everyone is an artist with their own medium, and why not Beauty is Blindingly everywhere, all you need to do is look.
This is one of those rare discoveries I made after I started calling myself an artist. Everyone is an artist. They might not think of it in that way. That is because they are not looking deep enough. Everyone has their own medium. Some really are good with people and directing and managing people. Some are really good with cars and are wizards at it. Some are organzational artists. We all have our mediums. Have you ever been to a restraunt that a waitress love working. She is everywhere and treats everyone with a manor that makes people feel good. Moreover most people have anywhere from 8-10 mediums of art that they are good at. Some overlap a bit. The Other thing is that Beauty is everywhere. It truely is. Just look. I have seen the clouds with colors in it, The majestic mountains. Even the way the grass looks or the way a given tree twists can be quite beautiful. One only needs to stop and look now and then. Here is a great excersize..Take 1 min every hour and find something beautful and apreciate it for a short time. If it takes more than 1 min to find something beautiful then you are not in the mood to look. Even if you only do this once or twice a day your day will be a bit happier..I gaurentee it.
Ok, so that is 11 of my guidelines, sometimes you have more, I do but cannot think of them. What are your "Commandments", Guidelines, Codes, or other points to live by? I am curious.
That's all for now.
Dave
Well first off, I got most of my ethics out of heinlien books. Or rather that is where I started truely thinking about it. Everyone has their own code of conduct or comandments or what ever we wish to call them. These are the guidelines that we make up for ourselves to go by. In a favorite book, To sail Beyond the sunset, by Heinlien, There is a bit where the main character's father (forget the names)encourages his daughter to examine and analyze the 10 comandments of the bible. In doing this he also encourages her to modify or make up her own code of ethics. In some ways I have done so. Mind these are guidelines that I follow the spirit of and not blindly follow the totaliarianism of. That said I will share some of my ethics.
(Not in any sort of order)(Warning: These are all my Opinions and beleifs)
1. Do not let a freind or loved one starve. Especially when you have the means to correct it.
This sort of was instilled by my mother. She always made sure I had food avalible. Of course she has gone a bit overboard withit to my freinds and the like. I am a large person. Fat, yes. But I have been told I carry it well. My largeness, as most of my close freinds know, is due to my greif of loosing my dad when I was about 8 yrs old. I didn't go out, I just ate and watched tv that winter. The pot belly has been with me ever since. I may loose it one day but it grows on ya. Anyway, I share the same compulsion to feed my freinds and family and those I really care about. Most of my freinds can recall at least once I paid for their dinner, sometimes when they were short on cash or whatever. I feel fortunate that I never had to starve for more than the time it took to get off work and get food cooked, maid, or bought.
2. "Do what thou will, and harm it none."
Many pagans and others recognize this. The wiccan rede. Since discovering the phrase I have always liked it. I do my best to follow the spirit of it, as the following it completely IS impossible. What goes on with this is a sort of personal responsibility for one's actions. Everyone should have that, right? Not everyone feels this way. Heck even I slide a bit. Also what should go along with this is the willingness to apologize or correct the situation once your harm of another is discovered. At bear minimum of when it deals with those you care about. If you found you hurt your mailman by putting mail out, that's kinda not involved here. What I am talking about when you accedently hurt a loved one with words or actions. You should apologize and correct the situation if you can. Nuff said.
3. What you do in life comes back to you 3 fold.
Ok, not really a guideline to go by but it does tie into one. This is simple faith that what others do will come back to them, too. No action is required for this, it happens. So, I guess it is more like: "Do not meddle with other peoples karma". If a freind is getting wacked hard by their own doing, YES you can be supportive but you cannot step in and take the karma or lesson for them. So this guideline is a bit more ambigious. As much as you feel for someone you cannot save someone from themselves. You can offer your observations as to why and suggest how to grow from it and the like but even this can backfire on you, You must put it in a manner and timming when you will be listend to..."I told ya so"s never go well. They just aleinate you from your loved one.
4. Live is about People not things. Your things do not define you, your actions do.
This is a simple statement. But lets take a look at it..People is why we are all here. You are seen in life as what you do..not what you have. You might be poor, rich, or in between. Does this change you, well yes everything in life changes you but does it define you. NO. I may be struggling with my finances but this does not make me a better person than Bill Gates or better than that homeless person you pass on the street. By the same tolken you are not better or worse than celebities. Actors and politician and the like are just people. What you do in life is what people can see, so do what you want and put the image you want people to see out.
5. Physical Violence is never a solution.
Ok, that needs explaning. Physical violence can be, as a last resort, employed as a way to stop a confrontation. Sometimes it is the only way. But keep in mind those other guidelines. You first try to solve the issue in a rational manor. This is ofcourse if self defense is not imediately needed. If someone is attacking you, you defend and prevent harm to yourself. I have been called a maryter (spelled wrong) but I do not try to put myself in harms way when a situation can be resolved calmly. We have emotions, sometimes very strong ones, We can contain them. Everyone can. I also grew up afraid of my size and raw power that I could have when angry. Yes, we are all stronger then. What shocked me most was when I was about 10 to 12? 4th grade. I got really angry and threw a desk/chair combo at a kid about 40 feet away and nearly hit him. My aim was off. It broke the furniture. Now a kid at that age can't lift much normally. It was aroud 30-50 pounds of akward mass. I consider that unusual. Since then I have been working to control my temper and emotions. I still have them but I do not let them resort to violence.
6. Do not attack your freinds.
By this I mean you do not use your knowledge of their psyche to place blows at their character or person. Sometimes you try to help but it can be very rude and harming to them. Your intention may be to help them but sometimes it comes off as harsh critisizing. They are your freinds/loved ones. You do not need to point at a foot and say "Hey, that's a foot." Ok, so I am being cryptic. Sorry. I try to help my loved ones and freinds. When that help is in a crytisizing manor it can do more dammage than you think. Espessily when they are already hurting. So I feel that isn't right to do.
7. "Don't shit where you eat (or live)"
I heard this statement once and took it apart. Basicly, You do not create confrountation where your refuge is. Hmmm, that doesn't sound right. You do take time to clear the air with your freinds and loved ones. I don't think that you should cause problems or create friction where you live. If something bothers you, yes you should speak up. Not, grumble and cause messes for others to clean up just because they do it. Ok, I am failing to explain. Moving on.
8. It is never acceptable to do a wrong action (in your mind) just because others are doing it. Stick to your own ethics.
If someone makes a mess and you feel that it is wrong, that does not give you license to do it to. Now you may disagree with their actions. That is the very reason you should not do those actions. Yes this can make more work for you but you have the knowledge that you are doing what you feel is right. That is enough.
9. Have Faith is something. Do not Peddle your Beleifs.
I don't care much for religion. I prefer spirituality. I call my beilif system a combination of 2 religions. Basicly, Belive in something. A true athiest is a sad thing. But I don't think such an animal exists. Everybody belives in something. Some it's Money, Some it's science, Some it's Magic, Some it's the proverbial "GOD" in what ever form is their choice. Also, you do not have the right to push you view or your religion on others and insist that they must belive the way you do. This is the highest form of rudeness/obnoxiousness. Now you can enlighten others as to your beleifs when they ask. Then they want to know, you are give the right to explain a bit to. But NEVER insist that they must beilve as you do. In truth, I think that when you boil down out the fine details, all religions are inherently the same. It is suprising that some base belifes are shared by seemingly contridictory religions. Some of my freinds study diffrent religions and probably have come up to the same conclusion. By the same tolken, I belive that one should know why they belive what they do. Just because you were spoon fed it when you couldn't think for your self much and weren't exposed to much life yet is no excuse not to think about it now that you can. To blindly beive is almost as bad as not beliving in anything. Form your own opinions. Thinking is human-kind's gift. Be a shame not to use it.
10: Strive for Perfection and accept Excelence.
Perfection doesn't exist. It truely doesn't. Excelence does. If you do your best you can produce it. To some excelence is called perfection. Basicly you do your best and you get your best. It doesn't matter that it isn't "Perfect".
11: Everyone is an artist with their own medium, and why not Beauty is Blindingly everywhere, all you need to do is look.
This is one of those rare discoveries I made after I started calling myself an artist. Everyone is an artist. They might not think of it in that way. That is because they are not looking deep enough. Everyone has their own medium. Some really are good with people and directing and managing people. Some are really good with cars and are wizards at it. Some are organzational artists. We all have our mediums. Have you ever been to a restraunt that a waitress love working. She is everywhere and treats everyone with a manor that makes people feel good. Moreover most people have anywhere from 8-10 mediums of art that they are good at. Some overlap a bit. The Other thing is that Beauty is everywhere. It truely is. Just look. I have seen the clouds with colors in it, The majestic mountains. Even the way the grass looks or the way a given tree twists can be quite beautiful. One only needs to stop and look now and then. Here is a great excersize..Take 1 min every hour and find something beautful and apreciate it for a short time. If it takes more than 1 min to find something beautiful then you are not in the mood to look. Even if you only do this once or twice a day your day will be a bit happier..I gaurentee it.
Ok, so that is 11 of my guidelines, sometimes you have more, I do but cannot think of them. What are your "Commandments", Guidelines, Codes, or other points to live by? I am curious.
That's all for now.
Dave
