About Last night....
Apr. 5th, 2003 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrix4bNo it is not a movie. heh. (some of my sappy, happy, and constranted rambolings)
Just getting up from the night of Ann's Wedding Shower. Ann you did not make a fool of yourself as you think. Anyway, great fun. Unfortuantely most of the people that were there I have only a tenuious contact with. I don't get out too much. But it is great to see them. Had a few conversations about anime and the intoduction of a person to it. What's good that I have seen and what is not so good. BIG genere that it is.
We got there a bit late and had to leave early due to a headache of my love's. Did not expect to be given a look of daggers by maelyn when I came in. Couldn't tell if it was directed at me or Kim. It may not have even been aimed ate us in the first place. Just got that feeling. On the way home I did finnaly tell Kim what one of my roommates said to me. Aaron (the roomate) told me that maelyn had stated that she was trying to break us up. This was way back when maelyn was a roommate. It didn't suprise kim. I know that Aaron wouldn't lie to me about something like that. It didn't change my view of maelyn though. (Prob shouldn't be posting this on an open forum like this but I plan on using this for my raw thoughts and the like as well as a way to keep up.) Maelyn has something I call the Ricci Effect. The ability to say one thing very derogatory about someting and then to there face be totally sincere about the oppsite. The effect is hard to spot but once you do you don't take much of what they say at face value anymore. For obvious reasons. Sigh, It pains me to see people treat others in that manor. I try not to. If I do I expect someone to slap me silly. Just me I guess.
My group of freinds had a major falling out with maelyn. I still can stand...Wait not phrased right. I can still accept and even apreciate maelyns presence and positive input on things. I even think of myself a bit more mature than others for being able to do so. Though that might be just aragonce on my part. Ah, the fine line we walk from aragonce to humble aloofness and other states of mind. But back off of that tangent. Back to my current subject of maelyn: I know she has been through a lot and that others have ostrasized her for certian things (she is even aware of that but may not have the right idea why) and that the place she is at she needs freinds too. Heck even a low level empath can feel the pain and turmoil.
Wow, reading that last sentence sounds like I am defending her, I am not, Just stating facts. Even in that pain it is hard not to lash out at freindlies. Hurt those you care for. Sometimes there seems to be nothing you can do to help. Hey even I have been hurt by that lashing out...
Just getting up from the night of Ann's Wedding Shower. Ann you did not make a fool of yourself as you think. Anyway, great fun. Unfortuantely most of the people that were there I have only a tenuious contact with. I don't get out too much. But it is great to see them. Had a few conversations about anime and the intoduction of a person to it. What's good that I have seen and what is not so good. BIG genere that it is.
We got there a bit late and had to leave early due to a headache of my love's. Did not expect to be given a look of daggers by maelyn when I came in. Couldn't tell if it was directed at me or Kim. It may not have even been aimed ate us in the first place. Just got that feeling. On the way home I did finnaly tell Kim what one of my roommates said to me. Aaron (the roomate) told me that maelyn had stated that she was trying to break us up. This was way back when maelyn was a roommate. It didn't suprise kim. I know that Aaron wouldn't lie to me about something like that. It didn't change my view of maelyn though. (Prob shouldn't be posting this on an open forum like this but I plan on using this for my raw thoughts and the like as well as a way to keep up.) Maelyn has something I call the Ricci Effect. The ability to say one thing very derogatory about someting and then to there face be totally sincere about the oppsite. The effect is hard to spot but once you do you don't take much of what they say at face value anymore. For obvious reasons. Sigh, It pains me to see people treat others in that manor. I try not to. If I do I expect someone to slap me silly. Just me I guess.
My group of freinds had a major falling out with maelyn. I still can stand...Wait not phrased right. I can still accept and even apreciate maelyns presence and positive input on things. I even think of myself a bit more mature than others for being able to do so. Though that might be just aragonce on my part. Ah, the fine line we walk from aragonce to humble aloofness and other states of mind. But back off of that tangent. Back to my current subject of maelyn: I know she has been through a lot and that others have ostrasized her for certian things (she is even aware of that but may not have the right idea why) and that the place she is at she needs freinds too. Heck even a low level empath can feel the pain and turmoil.
Wow, reading that last sentence sounds like I am defending her, I am not, Just stating facts. Even in that pain it is hard not to lash out at freindlies. Hurt those you care for. Sometimes there seems to be nothing you can do to help. Hey even I have been hurt by that lashing out...
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No it is not a movie. heh. (some of my sappy, happy, and constranted rambolings)
Just getting up from the night of Ann's Wedding Shower. Ann you did not make a fool of yourself as you think. Anyway, great fun. Unfortuantely most of the people that were there I have only a tenuious contact with. I don't get out too much. But it is great to see them. Had a few conversations about anime and the intoduction of a person to it. What's good that I have seen and what is not so good. BIG genere that it is.
We got there a bit late and had to leave early due to a headache of my love's. Did not expect to be given a look of daggers by maelyn when I came in. Couldn't tell if it was directed at me or Kim. It may not have even been aimed ate us in the first place. Just got that feeling. On the way home I did finnaly tell Kim what one of my roommates said to me. Aaron (the roomate) told me that maelyn had stated that she was trying to break us up. This was way back when maelyn was a roommate. It didn't suprise kim. I know that Aaron wouldn't lie to me about something like that. It didn't change my view of maelyn though. (Prob shouldn't be posting this on an open forum like this but I plan on using this for my raw thoughts and the like as well as a way to keep up.) Maelyn has something I call the Ricci Effect. The ability to say one thing very derogatory about someting and then to there face be totally sincere about the oppsite. The effect is hard to spot but once you do you don't take much of what they say at face value anymore. For obvious reasons. Sigh, It pains me to see people treat others in that manor. I try not to. If I do I expect someone to slap me silly. Just me I guess.
My group of freinds had a major falling out with maelyn. I still can stand...Wait not phrased right. I can still accept and even apreciate maelyns presence and positive input on things. I even think of myself a bit more mature than others for being able to do so. Though that might be just aragonce on my part. Ah, the fine line we walk from aragonce to humble aloofness and other states of mind. But back off of that tangent. Back to my current subject of maelyn: I know she has been through a lot and that others have ostrasized her for certian things (she is even aware of that but may not have the right idea why) and that the place she is at she needs freinds too. Heck even a low level empath can feel the pain and turmoil.
Wow, reading that last sentence sounds like I am defending her, I am not, Just stating facts. Even in that pain it is hard not to lash out at freindlies. Hurt those you care for. Sometimes there seems to be nothing you can do to help. Hey even I have been hurt by that lashing out...<Shake, Shake> Moving off of that depressing topic.
Back to the Shower: It was good to see everyone. Coming into that big house and seeing that poster from the movie Treasure Planet. I want something like that. It is majestic and speaks to the adventure in us all. Seeing Anne and Nathan possibly one last time before they get married. Might see them on Sunday before they go.
Ah, I wish that I could go with them. Dearly. Ann and Nathan are such good freinds of mine. Reflecting back on the memories of them getting together and the like is great.
Yes, Ann I get a kick out of remembering you being nervous at the New York Deli with just me and Nathan. You asking me, "Is he interested in me, Am I imagining it." or something similar. And me saying, "Yes, he is intrested." and when you went to the rest room or something having a very similar conversation with Nathan. That gives me a warm glow inside that sort of tells me that the Force of Love is out there and running rampant. I am fairly certian that no force could have kept my freinds Ann and Nathan apart, even then. At the Wedding Shower, you could see the presence of one in the presence of the other when they are seperated. Now I am not one to go droning on about fate and the like but those two seem to have found their own "Place" with eachother.
Other things on the wedding shower. I got complemented by Donald?'s date. Drat I am so terrible with names sometimes. Anyway, she asked how me and kim got together and she said that we make a great couple. That is reassuring. I seem to be stagnating a bit. We seem to be a a bit of a cross roads where things can merge well or start falling apart. Communication is the key, I know. Some of those conversations are hard to start and do. How do you go about critisizing or commenting on one's lovemaking style? How do you convey those things that get under you skin? How do do that and reassure the person that you love them and want to be with them even if they don't change? Also how do you inspire Passion? By giving it? That doesn't always work. It is a tricky thing. Hopefully we shall get through it. Get past that cold fear when I get asked "Were do you want to be in 2 years? In our relationship that is?" or other probing questions. To those that have been down that road, I know it seems silly.
I just want to do right by her and love her. Maybe even build a famly or life or whatever.
Ok, Now that is enough self. Only two depressions a post. <Shake, Shake!>
The Night before we went out to Mongolian Barbacue. Great place. Kim liked it. We managed to bypass the alergies and intorduce kim to something new. It is not that she is a picky eater rather some foods don't get along well with her. 3 or 4 food alergies can make one cautios. She wants to try new things. Me I am sort of out of ideas short of going through the phone book. Occasionally I like something new. Hmm, I need to learn to cook too. I know I have a gormet in me. Just hate dishes. But I would like to create a special dinner for us both. Going through Cookbooks is fine, but nothing in those books tells me what sort of dishes and side dishes go together to make that really good meal. Hmm, I may have to seek much advise. Covertly, If I imediately show an intrest in cooking it would spoil the suprise that I want to give her. Oops, off track again.
Well, we had a good time at mongolian barabaque, It was very fun, And the Settelers games after were fun too. Proving yet again, that you can have fun without Roleplaying Games. It is all about the company. A lot of gammers forget that. This is also why that unless you are a part of the clique of a LARP game it will blow. I am not a big fan of LARP but hey been burned on that too much. Well, that's all for this very long post. I have more time when no one is awake yet in the house and no one can interupt my ramboling mind.
Dave
Just getting up from the night of Ann's Wedding Shower. Ann you did not make a fool of yourself as you think. Anyway, great fun. Unfortuantely most of the people that were there I have only a tenuious contact with. I don't get out too much. But it is great to see them. Had a few conversations about anime and the intoduction of a person to it. What's good that I have seen and what is not so good. BIG genere that it is.
We got there a bit late and had to leave early due to a headache of my love's. Did not expect to be given a look of daggers by maelyn when I came in. Couldn't tell if it was directed at me or Kim. It may not have even been aimed ate us in the first place. Just got that feeling. On the way home I did finnaly tell Kim what one of my roommates said to me. Aaron (the roomate) told me that maelyn had stated that she was trying to break us up. This was way back when maelyn was a roommate. It didn't suprise kim. I know that Aaron wouldn't lie to me about something like that. It didn't change my view of maelyn though. (Prob shouldn't be posting this on an open forum like this but I plan on using this for my raw thoughts and the like as well as a way to keep up.) Maelyn has something I call the Ricci Effect. The ability to say one thing very derogatory about someting and then to there face be totally sincere about the oppsite. The effect is hard to spot but once you do you don't take much of what they say at face value anymore. For obvious reasons. Sigh, It pains me to see people treat others in that manor. I try not to. If I do I expect someone to slap me silly. Just me I guess.
My group of freinds had a major falling out with maelyn. I still can stand...Wait not phrased right. I can still accept and even apreciate maelyns presence and positive input on things. I even think of myself a bit more mature than others for being able to do so. Though that might be just aragonce on my part. Ah, the fine line we walk from aragonce to humble aloofness and other states of mind. But back off of that tangent. Back to my current subject of maelyn: I know she has been through a lot and that others have ostrasized her for certian things (she is even aware of that but may not have the right idea why) and that the place she is at she needs freinds too. Heck even a low level empath can feel the pain and turmoil.
Wow, reading that last sentence sounds like I am defending her, I am not, Just stating facts. Even in that pain it is hard not to lash out at freindlies. Hurt those you care for. Sometimes there seems to be nothing you can do to help. Hey even I have been hurt by that lashing out...<Shake, Shake> Moving off of that depressing topic.
Back to the Shower: It was good to see everyone. Coming into that big house and seeing that poster from the movie Treasure Planet. I want something like that. It is majestic and speaks to the adventure in us all. Seeing Anne and Nathan possibly one last time before they get married. Might see them on Sunday before they go.
Ah, I wish that I could go with them. Dearly. Ann and Nathan are such good freinds of mine. Reflecting back on the memories of them getting together and the like is great.
Yes, Ann I get a kick out of remembering you being nervous at the New York Deli with just me and Nathan. You asking me, "Is he interested in me, Am I imagining it." or something similar. And me saying, "Yes, he is intrested." and when you went to the rest room or something having a very similar conversation with Nathan. That gives me a warm glow inside that sort of tells me that the Force of Love is out there and running rampant. I am fairly certian that no force could have kept my freinds Ann and Nathan apart, even then. At the Wedding Shower, you could see the presence of one in the presence of the other when they are seperated. Now I am not one to go droning on about fate and the like but those two seem to have found their own "Place" with eachother.
Other things on the wedding shower. I got complemented by Donald?'s date. Drat I am so terrible with names sometimes. Anyway, she asked how me and kim got together and she said that we make a great couple. That is reassuring. I seem to be stagnating a bit. We seem to be a a bit of a cross roads where things can merge well or start falling apart. Communication is the key, I know. Some of those conversations are hard to start and do. How do you go about critisizing or commenting on one's lovemaking style? How do you convey those things that get under you skin? How do do that and reassure the person that you love them and want to be with them even if they don't change? Also how do you inspire Passion? By giving it? That doesn't always work. It is a tricky thing. Hopefully we shall get through it. Get past that cold fear when I get asked "Were do you want to be in 2 years? In our relationship that is?" or other probing questions. To those that have been down that road, I know it seems silly.
I just want to do right by her and love her. Maybe even build a famly or life or whatever.
Ok, Now that is enough self. Only two depressions a post. <Shake, Shake!>
The Night before we went out to Mongolian Barbacue. Great place. Kim liked it. We managed to bypass the alergies and intorduce kim to something new. It is not that she is a picky eater rather some foods don't get along well with her. 3 or 4 food alergies can make one cautios. She wants to try new things. Me I am sort of out of ideas short of going through the phone book. Occasionally I like something new. Hmm, I need to learn to cook too. I know I have a gormet in me. Just hate dishes. But I would like to create a special dinner for us both. Going through Cookbooks is fine, but nothing in those books tells me what sort of dishes and side dishes go together to make that really good meal. Hmm, I may have to seek much advise. Covertly, If I imediately show an intrest in cooking it would spoil the suprise that I want to give her. Oops, off track again.
Well, we had a good time at mongolian barabaque, It was very fun, And the Settelers games after were fun too. Proving yet again, that you can have fun without Roleplaying Games. It is all about the company. A lot of gammers forget that. This is also why that unless you are a part of the clique of a LARP game it will blow. I am not a big fan of LARP but hey been burned on that too much. Well, that's all for this very long post. I have more time when no one is awake yet in the house and no one can interupt my ramboling mind.
Dave